Stepping Out of the Boat

I'm in the middle of a three-day fast, leading up to a special corporate prayer meeting at my church this Sunday evening.  I'm being silent, reading, praying, journaling and waiting on God.

Since I feel like writing is something God is calling me to do, as an act of obedience, in a disciplined manner, I'm going to begin posting some of my journal thoughts this week around the idea of spiritual disciplines. 

Regular blogging, for me, takes discipline. So these posts will be a response to that call of God. They will be (somewhat) unedited and (somewhat) random, since stopping to plan and think would probably keep me from doing them at all.  (Discipline in writing is a challenge to me so I need to keep it simple at first!)

I'm scared. I've told you I'm going to do this and now I have to do it.  My lack of discipline in the past has resulted in a number of well-intentioned plans to blog that have petered out into nothing.  I may fail again.  But my strong impression, as I've been silently listening this week, is that this time I need to step out of the boat (as per Matthew 14:22-33) and so translate my faith and love for God into action--disciplined action.  So here goes.

Random thoughts from my journal on February 13, 2019:

It's a snowmaggedon day today, so I'm going to spend it reading and praying.

Reading a variety of things: Jeremiah first; then some escape reading of Joel Rosenberg and Randy Ingermanson; then some serious stuff by Dallas Willard.

Oh, and a little C.S. Lewis thrown in. I'm enjoying a book about C.S. Lewis called C.S. Lewis: Mere Christian.  (It's out of print. I stole a copy from our church library and it's so good I'm tempted to keep it.)

Thinking about the wayward Israelites Jeremiah is yelling at and wondering if we could be wayward and not know it. There are signs in the Old Testament that the Jews thought they were pleasing God, even though they were worshiping pagan idols. What does it actually mean to worship God? God said that worshipping Him meant following His ways, not theirs. He said their hearts were far from Him, so truly following Him obviously involves a heart thing. 

I think my heart is soft toward Him. Lots of tears when I think of how lovely He is. But is that just an emotional thing? Is it possible to have a soft heart but not be obedient? . . .because of laziness, selfishness, fear, or lack of faith that keeps us from stepping out in obedience? Is the soft feeling enough?

It can't be. Emotions come and go. If we have a soft heart toward Him we need to make sure it's a sign of obedience, not a superficial substitute for it.

It has to mean to walk in His ways. Walking is an action, not a feeling.

A challenging thought.

(We'll deal with the stealing books from the church library another time.)