Zinovy's Deepest Motivation

The last post talked about the two motivators that drive the conflict at the beginning of Zinovy’s story. Today I want to delve deeper, to go below Zinovy’s body and his mind, and even his psyche, to discover what drives him at the most primitive level.

All humans have a deep desire to worship. Ingrained in us is the hope that there is actually something more than we find in our own psyches. Something bigger, or wiser, or more righteous than we are. Something, or Someone, we can look up to. Someone we can bow before, knowing at the core of our being that the allegiance we are giving is right and good.

At first Zinovy isn’t aware of this personal, spiritual need, because he’s oblivious to spiritual reality in general. As the new environment he finds himself in begins to deconstruct his naturalistic worldview, he’s forced to consider spiritual possibilities. It is then that the first glimmers of the deeper conflict begin to emerge.

The motivation of Zinovy’s spiritual need is buried so deep it takes the whole second part of the book for him to discover it’s there and do something about it. In the end, his strong need to be in control of his own destiny clashes with his even stronger need to give the control over to a higher Being, and the resolution of this struggle constitutes the central conflict in the story.

So it is in my own life. The longer I walk with God, the more completely I am driven to analyze my motivations. And the more I analyze, the more dissatisfied I become with my own rule over my life. I am a selfish being, but I was created to be a worshiper. The whole of my spiritual journey through this life revolves around this struggle between my human desire to control my own destiny and my desire to bow before my Creator.

The struggle is a universal one. It’s the story of humanity and our relationship to the God who is with us, but also above and outside of us. It’s the story of a Creator who loves so deeply that He gives His all to make peace between the two deepest opposing motivators that drive our lives.

As Zinovy journeys from Canaveral to Jerusalem, he becomes spiritually aware. He learns the meaning of his name. He learns that all his life he has been walking with God. It’s a discovery we all need to make.