Killing Time so I Don't Have to Write

Okay, so I've been lazy lately. Not posted anything in a long time. I do have good intentions and one day they'll pay off. Meanwhile, as I "research" the net between checks of my e-mail messages, I run across interesting spam. It occurs to me that many of the following would either make intriguing story ideas or beguiling character traits.

For example,

Story ideas:

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each
other?

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
computer history if you die.

Bad decisions make good stories.

Character traits or realistic actions:

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take two trips to bring my groceries in.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent someone from cutting in at the front.

Everytime I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as
in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure.

And truisms especially for writers:

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I
want to save any changes to my ten page research paper (or Land Contract!) that I swear I did not make any changes to.

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

So there you have it. Something else to read so you don't have to write. Enjoy.